It's never too early to make lists!

We host one party every year.
One rather large, semi-formal sit down dinner party.
It is to celebrate Twelfth Night (or thirteenth night depending on how you count). We start our winter festivities with a quiet, contemplative Mother night and then starting on solstice we give gifts for twelve nights.
Twelfth night dinner started out small, really it did... I think the original guest list was about ten people. Not too many and I had enough china to set the table properly. As people move in and out of our lives the guest list has changed. Last year saw the biggest increase as forty-nine people were invited and thirty-two attended. It was a special year, we held the party on 1-1-11. Thirty people won't fit in my house, the year before had seventeen and it was a delicious crush. This year the preliminary list is twenty-three with an auxiliary list of another thirteen. Wyn wants it to be held at our home again (I think she is going to be over ruled). I only have five months left to plan! Logistics is key, if I have the menu, table favors, decorations, formal invites etc planned out I stress less (or at least I pretend to).
This years menu is looking like this:
Hummus
Assorted Cheeses
Dolmas
Crackers

Tandoori Chicken
Roasted Vegatables
Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy
Saag
Mixed Greens
Assorted Breads
Curried Pumpkin Soup
Mulligatawny Soup

Mayan Chocolate Truffles
Sugar Plums
Spiced Pear Cake
Kheer

Bear in mind that while I am normally hands off in the kitchen, I cook 85% of this myself. Once I have the menu down and know how far in advance things can be made, I can start to worry about other things, like table favors. I am not sure I can top last years nose warmers (a fashion trend in the making) but I shall try!

Life is good.

Sometimes I need a reminder. It's so easy to get bogged down with the things that are happening in the moment. When I step back and look at the big picture there is very little to complain about. I have a steady job, a solid house, a healthy child, fantastic friends, a car that runs (for right now at least!). We are predisposed to want more, but my goal is to be happy with what I have. It's pretty great.

The things you can do with a phone!

I love my new phone! We'll see whether or not being able to blog from it will make me do it more often.

On being the bigger man

Or woman, or person....
A situation has come up, once again, and I find myself torn. Life has landed me in a rather sweet position where work is concerned. I have the ability to set my own hours and leave when I want to. Now some of that is based on how busy things are, and some of it is offset by the guilt I feel when it seems I am not putting in enough time, but on the whole, if I need to leave early I can. I try not to take advantage of it. The staff work harder and are calmer when I am there.
My ex has already asked me to leave early four times this year and we are only six weeks in. Now he wants to get out of being a parent again (and mind you he only parents for 15 hours or less a week as it is). It wouldn't be hard to suck it up and switch things around to accommodate him. But, do I really want to? Is his Valentine's celebration with his fiance a good enough reason to? What do I get out of this situation? You might think that he has offered to keep her on his day off, or that he plans to take her for a weekend, but you really don't know him well in that case. Sometimes I really wish I was the bitch that people (namely his fiance and her family) think I am. I have tried to treat this split with grace and dignity. I refrained from taking him to the cleaners. I have financially bailed him out on more than one occasion since the divorce. I try not to complain or rant about his poor parenting in front of Wyn. I'll admit that being free of the mood swings and daily temper tantrums is pretty good compensation but at some point I would like to not have to be the bigger person.

The Weight of Limitations

I'm a dancer. I'm a mother. I'm a type A overachiever. I'm a thirty-something pencil pushing desk jockey. I know who I am. Thanks to dance, I like who I am. I am strong. I am self-confident. I am comfortable in my skin.

I dance with some of the most beautiful, amazing, generous women I have ever known. They make me smile. They are there for me when I need to vent. And they, along with the dance, have helped me to accept who I am. I am not always strong, but my self-confidence is no longer a facade that I have to try to maintain.

And yet it only takes one comment (read overly modulated rant) for me to question my ability to dance. Does knowing ones own limitations and asking others to respect them make a less dedicated dancer?

I'll admit it. I don't practice every day in front of a mirror. My every waking hour is not consumed by this art form. It is my release. My downtime. My fun.

I know these women I dance with. I know which one can't keep time, which one has the most subtle cues. I know what move that one likes best and that this one hates this move above all others. I am aware of my sisters as we dance. I know when they are tired and their brains too fried for the new combo I want to try. I know with barely a glance what they need from me. And I know that if I want to do certain things I sometimes have to wait untill certain ones have taken a break. And I know when I need to take a break too.

I know my limitations. Does the knowing, and accepting, of these limitations make me a weaker dancer? Is it unfair to ask my sisters to acknowledge my limitations as I acknowledge theirs, so that we may be a more cohesive whole?

For me perfection comes not from the fanciest tricks, but from the ability to take six separate beings and watch them become one amazing unit. I don't think that can be achieved without give and take from everyone involved. To dance as a group is to set aside personal wants and individual grand-standing. We have strengths beyond our limitations.

Random Mussings and Bookclub Love

Where has the month gone? I can't believe February is almost over. I was good to myself this year and didn't make any resolutions that I would fail to keep and feel guilty about all year, but the lack of a goal has me floundering so I have decided that 2010 will be the year of the purge. I have become (read probably always was) something of a pack rat and it needs to stop. It's hard when stashing is a common practice among crafters, and add to that the feeling of guilt whenever you toss a school paper or childhood toy. But I am resolved! I will reclaim the house for a useful purpose as opposed to the storage warehouse it seems to have become. Goodwill here I come!

The end of the month is wrapping up quite nicely at least. Our book club, Broom Book and Needle, had it's second meeting on Sunday and I am so loving it! I don't know how many other clubs have four hour long meetings.... It helps, of course, that the members of said club are women (and one lone man) that I love dearly and that they were all humoring me when I first brought the idea to the table. The last two meetings were over The Mists of Avalon, and while I found it hard to stay interested in it for some reason, it was interesting to hear the thoughts of so many others. The next book is Margret Murray's The God of the Witches. I can't wait to hear what will be said.

The month is ending on a huge up note! We leave Friday for Milwaukee to participate in Tribal Union. I get to spend the weekend with some of my favorite people, pick-up new skills and perform with my girls. How much better does it get?

Ending with a Bang!

November was as quiet as October was busy but December made up for that!

We had Wyn's ninth birthday
an early full moon that Juniper led

a fantastic Yule party

and Twelfth Night with a blue moon at our place.